Don’t be a victim

Sometimes we can get into states of mind that make us feel that life is unfair. There is an idea that if we are good people and try to do good in our lives that everything will then work out and when things don’t work out as quickly as we thought or maybe don’t work out at all. We might feel misled by our intuition or teachers or beliefs. This is just another trap of the ego.

While I believe that there is an enormous amount of power in keeping your relationships with others and the world clean, we also need to gain control over the way we let our minds wander. Small hurts remind one of larger hurts and then even larger imagined hurts get created.

“What we focus on we become”

When we are focused on our alleged victim hood, we become vulnerable to any strong emotion that is passed our way and people are constantly passing on their emotional states of mind. When they are angry or upset, they tend to pass on their feelings to those around them, just like a store that says “we pass the savings on to you”. They “pass the misery on to you”, the secret is not to get caught up in their world, to realize that anything anyone says to you is really more about their victim hood then anything you may have done. When we can have that understanding, we can pass through any situation without getting emotional involved.

Margo and I went to a restaurant for breakfast. We walked in and were totally ignored; I asked the waitress where we should sit. She unsmilingly told us to “sit anywhere but the floor”. We took a booth and waited, later that morning we got our coffee and menus. We ordered and I asked for my bacon cooked “soft”, she brusquely said “I’ll order it but I can’t guarantee it will be soft, I don’t cook it”.
Later, I hear the cook yelling at the waitress:
“What? They want SOFT bacon? “ .
She replies in the affirmative, off stage, more grumbling is heard.
When “le sullen” waitress delivers our food, I ask her, “Do you think the cook needs a couple of drinks? “ Dead silence ensues. She then falls over laughing. It transforms her. She then tells us about Hell day at the restaurant. We sit transfixed as the anonymous sullen waitress from hell changed before our eyes into this beautiful giggly teenager who’d be one of our friends, if we lived in town. From then, offers for “more coffee?” were frequent. As we left, I saw the waitress joking with the new group of people who had just sat down. The bacon was not soft and the food was not that great
(Look who cooked it!) But we still had a good time and left happy.

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